31/05/2012

I’m exhausted and don’t know what to say. This week has been long, so very, very long.

22/05/2012

The beginning of this week has been awful. My entire family, my mum, my nanny, my sister, my aunts and I all get bad migraines. These past two days have been hell with this awful migraine. I get sick at the same time as my migraines as well so needless to say this week has no been well. Lame to say, I miss my boyfriend and wish he was here to take care of me. But he has school so that comes first. Hopefully I feel better later tonight, can’t afford to be sick for much longer.

13/05/2012

lovely weekend with my boy (: spent friday night driving his friend home, then went off to get dinner. ate dinner watching movies and then spent the rest of the night cuddling in bed. the next morning he woke me up with a coffee and lots of kisses! we then went fishing! i was getting frustrated.. i’m not very patient with these things but Matt was so lovely and taught me everything. he caught two fish and we both left the reserve with a smile. we then spent our late afternoon having a nap/shower and then i met up with my sister to get our mothers day present. Matt and I returned home very tired and cold. our night was spend again in bed cuddled up playing halo 3. i woke up early this morning and drove home to spend the day with my family. it was a fantastic day with my family. all in all, a great weekend ♥

22/04/2012

long weekend spent with my lovely boyfriend. when our one year anniversary draws closer i’m incredibly happier with my relationship. it’s exciting that i’ve just spent a whole year with someone who makes me so unbelievable happy. he takes such good care of me too. it’s the little things, like when im on the couch yawning he’ll get a blanket and my pillow and make sure i’m comfortable, or times when i’ve fallen asleep on the couch he’ll pick me up and put me in bed. each and every morning i’m with him he’ll make me a coffee and put it on the coffee table and come over and kiss my forehead to wake me up.. it’s these little things that keep it all together. we don’t need huge gestures, just time and a each other (:

16/04/2012

I haven’t really been bothered to update my tumblr recently, I’ve lost 10 followers out of it but honestly I couldn’t care less. My anxiety has been really high today as my boss returned from his oversea’s trip. He’s been gone away for almost a month and it’s honestly been bliss. I’ve gotten to know my other co-workers and really understand what the company does, my boss keeps me on a short leash really. 

Apart from work life’s been average. My Easter weekend was spent mostly with my boyfriends family because it was Meg’s birthday, she finally turned 18! This is a joyful occasion as now I won’t be the only girl in the group anymore! Matt and I haven’t really been fighting lately which is incredible. I guess all couples go through a rough patch. We’re about to celebrate out one year together. I’m seriously so excited! This has been my longest public relationship. My last one was terrible, he was manipulative and cruel, tore me away from all my friends and family. When I saw the light I ran like hell, but he manipulated me back into a self destructive relationship. I love being with Matt because he gives me so much joy and let’s me live my life rather than hold me back. He cares about me so much, cliche but I can see it in his eyes.

My mum and I sat down last night and talked about my Europe trip, I’m still deciding whether I want to just go to Paris (but then it would be called a Paris trip!) or go to Europe, but i’m still deciding what countries I want to go to. Planning it and looking at pictures and finding hotels is so much fun. Although I’m planning to go in August/September NEXT year I’m very much excited. I’m a little worried about where i’ll be next year too.. Will I be with the company I’m with now or would I have moved on to another company? It’s a bit crazy thinking about it all. A friend from work is French and he’s been getting me revved up about it. I kinda wanna go sooner than next year but I still need to pay off my car and save for this trip!

I suppose this is enough rambling for you all, I’ll try and update my tumblr more this week. Just been very tired! 

04/04/2012

Another exhausting day full of unnecessary drama. I spent my afternoon in tears at work, most of the people who called up were abusive and rude. I’ve had enough of taking everyone’s shit. I honestly just don’t care anymore, I try as hard as I can and I’m perfectly honest with people but the majority of the time people are arrogant and selfish towards me. 

03/04/2012

How can someone accuse someone else of not being there, I’m sorry but friendship takes two. If you had actually cared to speak to me or ask how I’m going you’d know why I don’t go out into the city every beck and call. As for spending all my time with my boyfriend, that’s absolutely fucked, I hardly see him since I got my job. I’m tired and I’m exhausted of being accused I’m nothing when I’m trying as hard as I can, I’m sorry I can’t spend every waking minute hearing how wonderful everyone’s lives are when I’m miserable as hell. I don’t have time for this shit at the moment and if you understood then you’d apologize. 

Just had an extremely bad day, most of my friends bail on our catch up tonight, someone stole money out of my work’s petty cash and now i’m being framed for it.. which basically mean’s I could lose my job, I locked my self out of my car and had to wait 90 minutes for the NRMA to come and help me and to top it off I get shit from an old friend because I’m never there. I just want to curl up and die.

29/03/2012

I’ve been trying to look at the good, focus on the positives in life. But something small will generally pull me under. It’s okay though, I keep it to myself most of the time, I’m not sure if i’m lying to everyone, but if I am it’s to protect you all. I’m doing a lot better than a lot of you give me credit for. Last weekend was great, I spent it with my boyfriend. We were actually really happy, it was the first weekend in a while that neither of us was upset or grumpy with our situations. This week has been an exception, I have laryngitis. I have a bad fever, sore throat and a constant stream of headaches that feel like a sledgehammer is being knocked repetitively over my head. I’m currently on antibiotics which is helping me a lot, but hopefully by tomorrow i’ll be better so I can go to work and see Matt. He told me he’s planning something for us to do on Friday night so i’m excited to see what he comes up with. 

22/03/2012

I’m exhausted of feeling like I don’t matter. I matter and I deserve to feel loved and cared for. I’ve probably posted this exact same post a thousand times, but the problem still there and they’re doing NOTHING to stop it. 

I’m so done.